Time for Christianity!

Today is my husband's birthday and I was totally unable to get myself together to prepare anything in advance so I offered up a trip to Hampden to make good on his annual request for Birthday Pie. We made the pilgrimage to Dangerously Delicious Pies (BTW the Hampden location is closing after this weekend so you will have to visit their Federal Hill shop).

After eating three massive pieces of pie between us, we decided we needed to walk some of that pie goodness off. We hit the antique mall and way back in the last section of the second floor, I made my find of the day.

Five glass fronted, mirrored, battery operated clocks depicting important Christian scenes. Why is this such a find? you ask. Because I know multiple people with powder rooms decorated in a style just begging for these clocks. For a mere $10, I have a bag of Christmas presents* ready to go!

*batteries not included

Anniversary Chili Rellenos

Chili Rellenos Stuffed with Grits

The inspiration for this recipe was an article about "Light Mexican Dinners". I went ahead and screwed that up by adding the bacon and cheese. You are welcome.

Ingredients:

2 to 4	Mild Peppers (poblano, pasilla, Anaheim)
	Olive Oil
2 slices	Bacon
½ cup	Frozen Corn
1 cup	Chicken Stock
1 tsp	Garlic Powder
2 dashes	Hot Sauce
¼ tsp	Salt
1 tsp	Fresh Ground Pepper
½ cup	Quick Grits
1 cup	Shredded Cheddar Cheese

Directions:

1. SLICE peppers in half and remove seeds and internal ribs.
   
2. BROIL peppers on HI on a lightly greased baking sheet for 2-3 minutes on each side until they start to blister.
   
3. SET peppers aside to cool.
   
4. CHOP bacon into small pieces and put in saucepan to RENDER.
   
5. When bacon pieces are crispy, REMOVE bacon with slotted spoon and SET aside.
   
6. ROAST frozen corn in hot bacon grease.
   
7. When corn is browned on one side, REMOVE from oil and SET aside with bacon.
   
8. ADD the chicken stock to the hot pan.
   
9. ADD garlic powder, salt, pepper, and hot sauce (adjusting for your personal taste but remembering that plain grits are really boring).
   
10. When the stock comes to a boil, ADD the grits.
    
11. STIR constantly until the grits start to set up (a minute or so).
    
12. If your grits are too loose (you want them thick enough to hold their shape when you stuff the peppers), ADD more grits. If the grits are too stiff, ADD some water.
    
13. Once they are the proper consistency, TAKE the grits off the heat and ADD ¾ of a cup of the cheese.
    
14. STIR vigorously to combine.
    
15. FILL each pepper half with grits. (see note below about leftover grits)
    
16. SPRINKLE filled peppers with the remaining shredded cheese.
    
17. BROIL on HI just until the cheese is bubbly.
    

Depending on the size of the peppers you use, you will undoubtedly have left over grits. This is not a problem. Spread the leftovers into a flat container and stick them in the fridge. Come the next weekend morning, cut them into hash brown-sized rectangles, dust with flour, and fry them up in hot oil. Perfect for mopping up runny yolks (according to my husband who actually eats his eggs with runny yolks).

Wordle

Take any collection or words and turn them into art at Wordle. I created this one from the text of the past 2 weeks of my twitterings.

There's not enough therapy in the world

We have a family tradition. Every year, my mother drops off grocery bags of "stocking stuffers" with one of us kids and after the actual children go to sleep (or are banished to their rooms now that they are older) we sit around and laugh as we stuff the random assortment of crap into each others' stockings.

Past years, we have had stockings whose contents were purchased at the auto parts store, including heel guards for my sister and I (we own about a 3/4" of heels combined) and the little hammers you can use to break your windows if you accidentally drive into a lake. I have enough Crabtree & Evelyn to open my own store.

But she is never going to be able to top this year. This fall, mom went to Tuscany with her church for the second time. Last time she went, she brought me a frilly apron with olives on it, I guess to wear when I am making martinis before I serve dinner to my husband's boss and his wife. She has always bought us bags of pasta, I guess because my husband is Italian-American. Many a food bank has received apple-shaped pasta, shoe-shaped pasta, and even cat-shaped pasta. None of that prepared me for what I found in his stocking bag this year.

Yes. Penis-shaped pasta. In all the years of stocking stuffers, this is the first time there has ever been one shaped like a reproductive organ. I'm trying hard not to assume that either my mother thinks my husband is gay or this is the single least subtle hint ever that she wants grandchildren. Either way, pass the prozac-shaped pasta.

Click the picture for more penis pasta photos.

Total Pot Roast Domination

I basically used the same recipe I use to make my beef stew adapted to pot roast. Here's what I did.

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
   
2. Take the meat out of the package and season it well with salt and pepper on both sides. Let rest while you prep everything else.
   
3. In a big dutch oven, cook up 3 slices of bacon, sliced into small pieces.
   
4. Once the bacon is crisped up, take it out and throw the meat in. leave it alone until it has developed a nice sear, then flip it and do the same on the other side.
   
5. Once it is good and browned all over, take the meat out and throw in some big chunks of onion (I actually used shallot b/c that's what I had), carrot, celery, a whole head of garlic (peeled in individual cloves), some more salt, a handful of whole black peppercorns, some dried thyme and some fresh sage leftover from Thanksgiving that really needed to be used up.
   
6. Give the veggies a few minutes to get going, then toss in whatever leftover red wine you happen to have. In this case, I had about a cup and a half of some nice Greek Demestica red.
   
7. Let the wine work on all the stuff on the bottom of the pan and scrape up what doesn't come up on its own.
   
8. Put the meat back in (with all the juices that have accumulated on the plate).
   
9. Pour on one carton of good, low sodium beef stock and enough water to cover the meat.
   
10. Bring it to a full boil on the stove then cover it and chuck it in the oven for 2.5 hours.
    
11. After 2.5 hours goes by, take the pot out and put the meat on a plate so you can decant the liquid to a bowl and strain out all the solids.
    
12. Put the strained liquid back on the stove and put the meat back in. I threw some sliced mushrooms in for flavor at that point.
    
13. Leave it on a low simmer while you make the potatoes/carrots/whatever you want to go with the meat.
    
14. I had some of those tiny Yukon golds, which I either cut in thirds or halves, and some sliced cremini mushrooms. I cranked the oven up to 350 degrees and threw them in a roasting pan with some olive oil and a few good spoonfuls of the strained jus. I guess it took about 15-20 minutes for them to brown.
    
15. Serve the meat and veg in bowls with plenty of the reduced jus to moisten it up.
    

That was it. It really couldn't have been simpler.

feels her annual Thanksgiving cold coming on. maybe bronchitis.

Husband declares, "Best peanut butter cookies ever!"

While cleaning out the fridge last week, I discovered that we had three almost full jars of peanut butter in the fridge. That fact combined with the arctic cold front hanging over the Mid-Atlantic made Peanut Butter Cookies pretty much inevitable today. I was bored with the same ones I have been making for 30 years so I scoured the web for a new recipe. I found a few that looked interesting so I combined them into this:

Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies

Yields: ~3 Dozen

Ingredients

3/4 cup butter

1 cup brown sugar, packed

3/4 cup white sugar

1 1/4 cup peanut butter, chunky

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

2 large eggs

---

1 1/2 cup all purpose flour

1 cup quick cooking oatmeal

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 1/2 teaspoons salt

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°.

Cream the butter, sugars, and peanut butter together until smooth. Add the vanilla and then the eggs, one at a time until well incorporated. Mix the flour, baking powder, salt, oats, and cinnamon together. Add dry ingredients to wet slowly, until mixed well.

Spoon by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased baking sheet. Mark tops of cookies with standard peanut butter cookie fork cross.

Bake for 12-17 minutes until bottoms just start to turn golden brown.